


Have you heard about those page 80 fics?

by Nicomoru



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Crack Fic, I Shouldn't Be Allowed To Write, I looked up penis euphemisms for this, M/M, Why Did I Write This?, and mastubastion ones too, are you proud of me now mom?, fucking hell, i'm regretting all of my life choices, take these tools away from me, this isn't serious, those were... fun?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 22:49:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11240907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicomoru/pseuds/Nicomoru
Summary: This may count as one





	Have you heard about those page 80 fics?

**Author's Note:**

> Fuuucking, I noticed there was a lot of page 80 fanfics, so I was like "hey won't it be a good idea to read them all?" (spoiler alert: it wasn't, I'm asexual and it's 1 am ) And while I did this, I noticed they have a lot of similaritiesin between them, so here they are in this fucking groovy """"summary"""" of them all.

Jerimiah Heere could not believe what he was doing, but of course, because he apparently could not keep his flesh bat in his pants for 5 minutes, he decided to anyways. His thumb hovered over the call button, and after like 3 seconds of internal contemplation, he presses it.  
For a couple seconds it rings, and Jeremy thinks maybe he wouldn't answer, and he'd just have to deal with his cocktapuss by himself like a normal teenage boy would.

But Micheal Mell is of course a innocent and wonderful human being and would never leave his best friend hanging on a phone call.

"Hey Jeremy," Micheal says, "why the fuck are you calling me?"  
'oh shit, he answered' , Jeremy thinks, as if he didn't bring this upon himself. "UhM, I- I don kno man, just tell me some stupid shit you learned on a documentary or something," Jeremy said, already stroking his joystick.

"...sure fine, well I learned that the kangaroo has three vaginas, and it's because..." as he continued going on about the really weird and interesting way kangaroos have babies, Jeremy somehow found this really hot and was 'pounding his pomegranate' at a quicker pace.

"mmmmmmmmmm Micheal," He moaned.

Jeremy paused because holy shit he just got caught 'pumping his pickle' to his best friend, and Micheal had stopped talking about how male kangaroos have a two headed penis.

"Are you fucking 'snapping the whip' to me talking about kangaroos?" He questioned, just like I am questioning all my life choices with these masturbation euphemisms which aren't really euphemisms because euphemisms are supposed to make something sound better and these are not doing the job by any means.

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaayyyyybeeeeeeee...." Jeremy said as he was still rubbing at his love wand. In fact he had still been rubbing his meat flute the entire awkward pause because he was that desperate.

"Well shit, I am totally okay with this and see nothing wrong with it," Micheal says.  
"Dafuq?" comes Jeremy's eloquent reply.  
"Hey, you're the one who called, I'm just Heere for the ride."  
"Did you just make a fucking pun of my last name?"  
"No, I do that every time I say 'here,' this time i just emphasized it  
"But we're about to do the phone sex."  
"Shhhhhhhhhushhhhhhhhh" shushed Micheal

Micheal then says a bunch of nasty shit.  
Jeremy then nuts harder than he has ever nutted in his life.  
Micheal then nuts after him because he apparently was also 'milking his lizard' (I strongly disagree but the website says this is apparently a euphemism) since he found out that Jeremy was doing that too.

Another awkward pause then occurs as they realize that they both just nutted to each other.

"Soooooooo.... that was neat," says Jeremy since he has now gone back to being an awkward dork instead of a horn dog.  
" I love you," blurts out Micheal  
"what." comes Jeremy's even more eloquent reply.

Micheal, being worried that they just ruined their friendship even though Jeremy is the one who called him in the first place to rub his piss whistle to him speaking, rambles for a bit on how he has loved him since like 7th grade or something like that.

"Oh yeah, same, can we date now?" Jeremy ask, because as I mentioned, he is the best at words.  
"Yeah, sure," replies Micheal.  
They then hang up.

 

The End.

 

  
"Out of all the fucking ways you could have gotten together with Micheal, this is by far one of the worst," says the Squip.  
"Oh shut up no one asked you," Jeremy said, throwing a bottle of mountain dew red at the squip from his mountain dew red stash under his bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I should delete my account.


End file.
